I awoke this morning to a Facebook message from a dear friend and fellow Kundalini Yoga teacher who is experiencing the Summer Solstice Celebration in New Mexico for the first time. All his message said was, “Tell me it will get better!!! What am I doing here?!”
For those of you reading this who have never experienced the Summer Solstice Festival, I can tell you from my experience it is intense -especially if you have never been before. Two thousand people dressed in white, long beards, turbans galore, soup for breakfast, Sat Nam being chanted on every whim. And all seem to be thinking nothing of it! Just having a grand ‘ol time!
I remember having the same feelings as my friend the first couple days up on the mountain. The mantra in my head was far from “Sat Nam Wahe Guru”… it was more like, “holy *&$#&@!! I don’t belong here!!”
Fast forward a few days later and I felt totally connected to everyone there. I sensed a sacredness to this experience that I hadn’t experienced anywhere else before. I felt lighter, peaceful, and remarkably grateful.
What happened? To tell you the truth, I’m not exactly sure. I had the willingness to stick it out and then the magic of Kundalini Yoga did its work on me, I guess. One of Yogi Bhajan’s 5 sutras of the Aquarian Age is “There is a way through every block.” I just kept up.
I have learned from that experience not to judge my insides with other people’s outsides. When I finally started talking to other people at the festival, I discovered that many other people had felt the same way I did, bringing to mind another one of YB’s sutras, “Recognize the other person is you.” This was so comforting, and I started to realize that perhaps I wasn’t so different from the other people there.
Yogi Bhajan also taught that doubt is part of the spiritual path. It’s just a component of the process. Patience pays! In the periods of doubt I’ve experienced, I remind myself that “this too shall pass”… I just have to keep up and be patient. Trust. And surrender.
“Vibrate the Cosmos, the Cosmos shall clear the path,” …yet another sutra. Keeping up by use sacred sounds to attune yourself to the Universe is helpful! Chant mantra and meditate to get back in the flow. The Complete Adi Mantra for Individual Meditation is a great meditation for getting past doubt. (The Aquarian Teacher Manual Level I) I love Satkirin’s version of this mantra on her album Ignite Your Light.
Ong Namo, Guroo Dayv Namo, Guroo Dayv Namo, Guroo Dayvaa
“Use this mantra in its complete form anytime you have a lack of faith or any similar thing.” ~ Yogi Bahjan
So, back to the question… What am I doing here??!
Exactly what I’m supposed to.
Keep up. Be patient. Trust. Surrender.